Saying no without a good reason is selfish. It is a fine line between being selfish and self absorbed and saying no. So we should very well know when to say no.
When a person regularly takes help and never bothers to reciprocate, the no is definitely needed.
Some people are wired not to say no because they feel so guilty after saying no. Such people have to realize their limitations. When trying to help beyond our limitation we end up messing things and not helping the needy. They should understand that those seeking help can get on without them. It is true that when you say no you will be ignored and forgotten. Then again it is a good opportunity to know who your real friends are.
Being helpful and supportive is a good habit. But a lit bit of selfishness too is required sometimes. There should be a balance.
We are programmed to say yes because we do not want others to think we are a bad person. We also do not want to miss an opportunity. We also have this fear that in future we might need help from others. Such people should focus on the balance needed in life. Know that we cannot always help others because we have to be first kinder to ourselves and to our near and dear ones.
Do not take additional responsibility when you are already burdened. You cannot pay attention and energy the new project deserves.
When your no is genuine and honest, there will be a truthful explanation. There is no need to feel guilty or bad or apologize.
The only thing that is indispensable is family and our mental composure and sanity. This should always get priority.
A friend to all is a friend to no one. You need to know who are your real friends and who are your mere acquaintances. We cannot do anything and everything. We have our limitations and time crunch. Do not end up being used; know who your real friends are. So say yes to a small number of people and fully commit.
With friends and colleagues, you have to stick to a position with consistency. It is like managing people’s expectations. This will discipline them. They will know when and what type of help to seek from you.If we think that we are the center of everyone else and we are an indispensable part of others then we are living in a world of illusion.